Love Songs

          I’m listening to love songs again. 


           I don’t know why, they make me really sad. But they’re so beautiful. They make me believe in the possibility of finding a guy that will drive me to write beautiful things. Spill my heart on the paper. Not just scribble these over emotional and dark thoughts on a piece of paper that no one will ever read. 


            They make the possibility of dedicating these beautiful melodies to someone who will appreciate and cherish them very real. Love songs make the possibility of walking down the aisle to these well thought out and well versed words not just a fantasy. 


            Love songs also bring me back to reality though. 


          Love songs bring me back to the reality that HE left. They bring me back to the reality that no matter how I cut it, HE lied to me. HE took my heart and squeezed it so tight that it oozed all over his hands and dripped to the floor. All of my thoughtful words, letters, smiles, kisses, and sweaty confessions of love dripped onto the floor where he threw my mangled heart and briskly walked away. The floor that he used to walk away from the promises he made, the door that he used to slam and shut out all my dreams for the future. 


             That’s what love songs do to me now. I’d like to listen to a love song without the echo of his voice telling me that I was his, forever. I’d like to listen to a love song without feeling his hand intertwined in mine. Just once, for Christ’s sake… I’d like to hear a love song, and be unaffected. 


                     Is that too much to ask for?!

Just Rambling.

Staring in your eyes, I get stuck.
To see a future, possibly an us?
To get to that, I must.
Scared to say too much, don't want to scare you away.
I just wan't you to stay.
Near me, feel me, be there with me.
Let's walk this Earth's journey together,
hand in hand.
Baby, we have GOT to make a plan.
I'm not a kid anymore and you've got to work with me.
Give me something to build on and make me believe.
I just want you to see...
the future that lies in ME.

-Eboni Merriman