Spot

You ever wonder what it all really means? This drama you go through. The ups, downs, triumphs and failures. You ever wonder what purpose these things serve as? I do. Constantly.

I wonder if I’ll ever reach my dreams. If I‘ll ever succeed or meet everyone’s expectations of me. If I’ll ever get that husband and 2.5 kids.

I have dreams. To write for a major publication. Own a condo and have one car of my choice. Well, until I get married and then it’s time to look for a house and more cars. Everything stress free and paid for and we won’t struggle and we’ll love each other and be happy.

Do I think everything will actually be easy and breezy? No. I know I’m going to have to bust my ass and fight my way to a spot.

But all this trivial bullshit I go through…. I wonder sometimes if it’s all a part of some master plan. If it’s shaping who I am as a person. If it will even benefit me in my future.

It’s interesting to try and guess the people that will actually make it in your future. Because, we all know that everyone isn’t going to stick around. Some people are going to walk out, or fall by the wayside.

I mean, I’m living for now… But I wonder a lot. Where will I fit in this world? What slice of the pie am I going to get? I’m just trying to find my little spot, like a polka dot. That’s all.