These Words Are My Own.

I'm still working on how to post the next excerpt from my novel. I know everyone that has read is interested in learning more about the girls. However, I need to interject with a different sort of post. As always, leave me comments. :)

            Walking around in a pair of sparkly six inch platform heels, pajama shorts and pigtails (very Carrie Bradshaw-esque, I know), I decided I needed to make a list of things I need to buy. Such as blush, pressed powder, more shoes, etc. So I picked up the first notebook I saw laying around and of course, with my luck, it’s the notebook I’ve used to write down all of my thoughts from May until now.

            I skimmed. They were all about… him. I couldn’t bring myself to actually read these thoughts. I had dug myself out of the hole already. Going back in was out of the question. Besides, I was on my monthly. Emotions were running on an all time high for me. Tears were not a part of the equation today. I was wearing sparkly heels, for Christ’s sake.

            But the point of this post is, these words… Do I dispose of them? Are they constant reminders of my failures in this relationship? Am I tormenting myself by having them sitting on my desk? Or, as an aspiring writer and a person that is constantly evolving, are these words useful to me in some way? Maybe when my soul mate finds me, I can look back and see how silly I might’ve been. Or, I can use them for material for a future column, book, etc. etc. Am I making excuses to hold on to a piece of me I’m supposed to be over?

-sigh- I have questions. I’m over the situation, yes. However, these journal entries were a major part of me. These words are beautiful. They’re scrambled and sometimes ugly and depressing. But, they’re mine.